In these times resiliency has become a necessity. This blog touches on ways you can practice and improve your own resiliency.
In the June 1st edition of Time Magazine, there is an article on resilience – the quality of being able to rebound from setbacks. The newest research summarized confirms much of the way I approach healing and growth in my practice and in the workshops I facilitate. The article lists 10 things people can do to build more resilience in their lives.
Here they are with my own editorial comments:
Develop a core set of beliefs that nothing can shake.
I could quibble with the inflexibility this statement implies, but the message I take from this is: What is my WHY? How do I make meaning? How do I want to walk the world? Often, my clients begin therapy with only a hazy idea of the answers to these questions. Intently wrestling with these questions helps develop a solid ADULT voice inside our heads that can mediate and lead the discussions (arguments?) that occur frequently in all our brains.
Try to find meaning in whatever stressful or traumatic thing has happened.
Try to maintain a positive outlook.
Take cues from someone who is especially resilient.
Don’t run from things that scare you: face them.
Be quick to reach out for support when things go haywire.
The research is abundantly clear: successful, happy, and fulfilled people develop and use support systems: They are able to ask for help. This flies in the face of an American culture that idealizes independence and self-reliance. There is nothing wrong with these attributes – unless they keep us from asking for help when we could use it.
The research is abundantly clear: successful, happy, and fulfilled people develop and use support systems: They are able to ask for help. This flies in the face of an American culture that idealizes independence and self-reliance. There is nothing wrong with these attributes – unless they keep us from asking for help when we could use it.
Learn new things as often as you can.
Find an exercise regimen you’ll stick to.
I have blogged and podcasted several times with regard to The Big Four: those things we all have direct and personal control over that can vastly improve our physical and emotional health. Exercise is one of them.
I have blogged and podcasted several times with regard to The Big Four: those things we all have direct and personal control over that can vastly improve our physical and emotional health. Exercise is one of them.
Don’t beat yourself up or dwell on the past.
I call the internal voice that does this The Critic. We all have this voice and it can be, for some, the dominant voice in our heads. It has a purpose: to protect us from the standpoint of who we were growing up. As such, this voice can have urgency and make meanings that are skewed or simply untrue. One tip for this tip is to develop the habit of thanking the critic for its input – not with sarcasm, but with sincerity, and then deciding what to do from your ADULT voice. Another important piece to this tip is mindfulness. The Time article points out that the newest focus of research and advice on health centers around mindfulness – being aware of my feelings and thoughts while also being aware of what is going on around me. When I dwell on the past, I am not in this moment. Mindfulness takes practice. I have blogged and podcasted several suggestions on how to exercise this skill.
I call the internal voice that does this The Critic. We all have this voice and it can be, for some, the dominant voice in our heads. It has a purpose: to protect us from the standpoint of who we were growing up. As such, this voice can have urgency and make meanings that are skewed or simply untrue. One tip for this tip is to develop the habit of thanking the critic for its input – not with sarcasm, but with sincerity, and then deciding what to do from your ADULT voice. Another important piece to this tip is mindfulness. The Time article points out that the newest focus of research and advice on health centers around mindfulness – being aware of my feelings and thoughts while also being aware of what is going on around me. When I dwell on the past, I am not in this moment. Mindfulness takes practice. I have blogged and podcasted several suggestions on how to exercise this skill.
Recognize what makes you uniquely strong – and own it.
This implies that it is important to develop the voice within us that sees what is right – what is positive and true about me and the world in this moment. I call this voice the Nurturer.
This implies that it is important to develop the voice within us that sees what is right – what is positive and true about me and the world in this moment. I call this voice the Nurturer.
Like most lists of tips, these simply tell you what to do – not how to do them. Much of the help I provide my clients is getting clarity and removing the inner blocks that may prevent or inhibit choosing to do any or all of these things.
Credit: Time Magazine and Christopher Mathe, Ph.D.