By Jonathan Venn, Ph.D.

Our society values quick thinking.  We value the person who can “think on their feet” and respond quickly to people and situations.  This ability is valued so highly in our society that we are likely to feel pressured and respond quickly even when it is not in our best interest to do so.  There are times when it would be better to stop, think things over, and take all the time we need to arrive at the right conclusion.  Indeed, we may be so afraid of how we look to others – afraid of looking ineffective and “slow-witted” — that we respond quickly even though we may be making the wrong decision.  There are times when it would be better to say, “I need some time to think about that,” and then take all the time you need.

Manipulative people take advantage of the social expectation to think quickly.  They create situations where people feel forced to make bad decisions.  Later, when you tell them that you regret your decision, they can say, “But you agreed to it!” as if you were the only participant and their involvement in the situation did not matter.  They thereby attempt to relieve themselves of their own responsibility for the situation.

The next time you feel pressured to make a fast decision, please take the time to stop and think.  Please allow yourself all the time you need to think things over and make the right decision.