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Poems for my Father

Authentic Counseling blog image of stairs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It took me several years to fully realize and grieve the death of my father. During those years,
I wrote three poems about the process. This is the first one. Climbing the Stairs (Father #1)

Climbing the Stairs (Father #1)

“He’s up there, go see him”

Mom says from the couch

With a face that surprises me

With its strength and resolve.

I expected histrionics

An easy climb

Back onto her cross

A public display of her loss.

But quiet calm greets me instead.

This adds to my confusion

And fear

My father’s dead?

My father’s dead.

Go up and see him?

I don’t know what to do

Or feel, or say…

So I climb the stairs

Getting younger with each step

I’ve always been afraid to enter

The master bedroom

The lair where gods

And bears slept

Where punishment is meted

And secrets are kept.

Facing my father has always carried fear.

You can do better

You must be the best

Never lose, never quit

You’re nothing if you don’t pass the rest

Life is a war to be won

You’re a soldier, not a son

“Fill each minute with sixty seconds of distance run”

I am a good soldier

Wanna-be-son

At the top of the stairs

Facing the room

I cannot go forward

I cannot run.

About Us

Authentic Counseling Associates of Sacramento, Ca also known as Sacramento Counseling offers therapeutic and assessment services to all ages in individual, group, couples, and family formats. We treat a diverse community population including those commonly not served and all diagnostic categories. We passionately pursue this vision by growing a practice of dedicated and talented professionals. We offer private and group counseling. We are also home to therapy training for new therapists. We serve the Sacramento region as well as the Foothill communities. Our offices are located in Gold River and Auburn, California.

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